Conception
by Ultiman92
Summary: “Briar Rose”. Ballard never wanted to say goodbye. Now he won’t have to.


Hello all. This fic's inspiration came from the excellent _Dollhouse_ season finale, "Omega". While I did enjoy the episode and am eagerly anticipating Season 2, I couldn't help but feel a little peeved at how the Paul/Mellie romance was resolved. Sure, it makes sense and flows well dramatically, but I can't help feeling that so much was left unexplored between them. I wrote this to show how one little change in "Briar Rose" could lead to the continuation of their relationship. With that said, enjoy!

On with the fic!

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_Conception_

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He's inside.

A million phrases are running through his head. Belly of the beast. The evil lair. Haven of scum and villainy. A false Eden.

One in particular stands out.

The Dollhouse.

Everyone thought it was just a myth. A crank story, an urban legend. Something to scare the paranoid masses and keep the unsavory sorts up at night. But it's here, it's all around him, it's _real_ – and that makes all the difference. What was once a pointless wild-goose chase is now a crusade, a mission of the utmost importance. This place exists. It is evil, and it needs to be shut down.

Stephen's stuttering about encryption and passwords and it's all he can do not to grab the irritating little architect and scream in his face to _make it work, make it work now_ or else he'll throw him over the side of the balcony. He can't do that right now. He has to be the voice of reason here, the calm and collected agent who gets the job done quickly and quietly. Later, after all this is over, after they've gotten Caroline out, he'll lower his guard and let his emotions spill out. Just thinking of her, so calm, so innocent, and so _close_, makes his self-control nearly snap in two. He takes a deep breath to calm himself, then takes a look around.

This is the heart of the Dollhouse, the command center where people's minds, lives, their very _souls_ are taken away to become puppets for whoever is next on the client list. Just the sight of the equipment used in this inhumane business causes a scowl to form on his face before he can stop it. He can't help it. He hates this place. He knows he's supposed to be detached and professional and all of that, but damn it all, he's let it get personal. Every other moment he hates himself for slipping this far, but, in fairness, he's been pushed far beyond what he can handle. The Dollhouse is everywhere, surrounding him and invading every corner of his life to try to stop his investigation. It's gotten to the point where he has to be continuously paranoid and untrusting just to stay on top of them.

He can't stand it. He wants a normal life. He wants to be able to stop being an agent for five minutes and enjoy the company of others, whether they're a coworker, a friend, or a lover. But he can't do that until he brings the Dollhouse down for good. Then he'll _know_ that he's safe. He'll _know_ that he can do whatever he wants with his life. He'll be free. Free to get his old job back. Free to become himself again. Free to pursue _something _with Caroline. Free of the Dollhouse, once and for all.

He glances over at the racks full of tapes, noting the names inscribed on each one of them. How many are there? he wonders. How many personalities, identities, fantasies are here, stored away like a bunch of old records? He goes over the racks isle by isle, reading each name one by one.

_River, Faith, Giles, Spike, Billy, Penny, Zoe, Simon, Wash, Tara…_

…_Mellie._

He blinks in shock, rereading the tape to make sure he's not hallucinating. It's real. There's even a little side note indicating that she was assigned to him. He carefully removes the tape from the rack, turning it over in his hands. He finds it unbelievable how someone so bright, so cheery, so full of life can be compressed to fit onto something barely bigger than his hand.

Memories flash through his mind. Meeting her for the first time. Speaking to her briefly in the hallway. The first real conversations with her. The beginnings of their affair. The message she gave him. Their tearful (at least, on her end) breakup. Following her here.

It's only when he's been staring at the tape for over half a minute that he realizes he has no idea what he's going to do with it. He can't keep it; it's evidence. He could permanently lose his badge for something like that. He can't destroy it, either. It wouldn't feel right for his last meeting with Mellie to be a forced breakup that neither of them wanted to happen. He can't let it end between them like that. He can't even implant Mellie's personality back into her host. Whoever that woman actually is deserves the right to her own body. He can't decide what he should do.

An image springs to his mind unbidden. Caroline, smiling sweetly, stares lovingly up at him with Mellie's warmth in her eyes.

He shakes his head, trying to banish the tantalizing sight from his mind. He can't be that selfish. He won't do something like that to anyone, not even for Mellie. Not now, not ever.

The sound of Stephen's voice shakes him out of his reverie. The architect has risen from his seat, nervously babbling about security patterns and feng schui. He turns away from the tape racks, reflexively slipping Mellie's tape into his pocket.

He's made his decision, consequences be damned. He _will_ talk to Mellie again, if only to apologize for how he treated her. He doesn't know how he's going to do this, or what he's going to do afterwards. He's going to move forward the only way he knows how: one step at a time.

A man can afford to hope for happiness, after all.

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_The End_

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The title "Conception" refers to the fact that this moment is the beginning of a chain of events that will eventually lead to Mellie's "rebirth". No, I don't know how it's going to happen, mostly because I think Ballard wouldn't know, either. I threw in the bit about Mellie in Caroline's body to provide a possibility of how it could happen, but it's by no means the only one available. I'll let you, the readers, draw your own conclusions.

REVIEW!


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